Girl Says Dad’s Ex-Girlfriend Touched Her Inappropriately

A father contacted police after his young daughter told him that his former live-in girlfriend had allegedly taken the child into a bathroom, removed her clothing and touched her inappropriately when the two were alone. The allegation is now being forwarded to detectives for investigation. According to a Lawrence County Sheriff’s Office report, the father said he and the woman had been living together but ended their relationship about a week before the child made the disclosure. The conversation reportedly began when the girl asked her father whether the woman was coming back. When he told her he didn’t think she would be returning, the child reportedly told him there was something she needed to tell him. According to the report, the girl alleged that when she was home alone with the woman, the woman would take her into the bathroom, tell her how pretty she was, remove her clothing and touch her inappropriately. The father told deputies that his work schedule includes different shifts, including nights, and there had been times when the woman was responsible for the children while he was working. However, the girl reportedly told her father that the alleged incidents happened when another child in the household was not present and she was alone with the woman. The father had already contacted Child Protective Services and said he was instructed to make a report with law enforcement. A deputy obtained a written statement from the father and told him the information would be forwarded to detectives. The report does not indicate that anyone has been charged. The allegations remain under investigation. Most Child Sexual Abuse Doesn't Involve a Stranger Cases like this are also an important reminder that teaching children only to be afraid of strangers doesn't address where much of the actual danger lies. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, about 90% of child sexual abuse is committed by someone known and trusted by the child or the child's family. Federal law enforcement data cited by RAINN paints a similar picture. Among juvenile sexual abuse cases reported to law enforcement, 93% of victims knew the alleged offender. About 59% were acquaintances and 34% were family members. Only 7% were strangers. That means parents need to think about safety not only around strangers, but also around relatives, romantic partners, babysitters, family friends and other trusted adults who have regular access to their children. Research has also found an increased risk of child maltreatment in some households where an unrelated adult lives with a child. That doesn't mean an unrelated adult or a parent's new partner is likely to abuse a child. It does mean parents should be thoughtful about access, supervision and boundaries when bringing any new adult into a child's home. What Should Parents Watch For? There isn't one behavior that proves a child has been sexually abused, and some children show few outward signs. However, sudden changes deserve attention. Warning signs can include unusual anxiety or fear, withdrawal, anger, nightmares or sleeping problems, suddenly avoiding a particular person or place, age-inappropriate sexual knowledge or behavior, unexplained physical complaints, or a noticeable change in school performance or personality. Parents can also reduce risk by making body-safety conversations an ordinary part of growing up. Children should know the proper names for body parts, understand that they have a right to personal boundaries and know that they can tell a trusted adult if someone makes them uncomfortable. Perhaps most importantly, children should know that those rules apply to everyone, including adults they know, like or trust. And when a child does disclose something concerning, experts recommend listening calmly, taking the disclosure seriously and reporting suspected abuse rather than attempting to conduct an investigation themselves.

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