Teenage Relationship Abuse – Don’t Let It Happen to Your Teen
Teenage dating relationships can be very stressful for both the teen and the parents. Parents want to retain control of their child’s life and protect their child at all costs. Physical and sexual abuse may be obvious forms of relationship abuse. However, teasing and downgrading a person’s self-worth may be more subtle and harder to recognize.
The first step is to have raised a child who is comfortable talking to you about any problems he/she may encounter. However, it is important to understand teens may still be uncomfortable talking about their problems. Many times, teenagers want the independence to handle their own problems, but they haven’t had the life experience to know how to accomplish the results they need. They are concerned their parents may try to take a more proactive role rather than a supportive role in helping them solve their problems. Knowing what to look for and how to handle potential problems can help you show your teenager you care and are willing to support him/her when there is a problem.
The abuser may threaten to blackmail or lie about the victim to threaten the victim’s reputation. This is very effective with teenagers, due to the pressure to fit in with their peers. This can make your child even more unwilling to talk about his/her problems.
Here are some signs to watch out for that can be indicative of an abusive relationship:
1. Accidents – If your teen suddenly seems to be having accidents that result in cuts and bruises, this is a very crucial sign of physical abuse and should be dealt with sooner rather than later. Your child may use excuses such as being “clumsy” to try to avoid talking.
2. Isolation – This is another common form of abuse. The abuser attempts to force the victim to cut ties with friends and family. It is much easier to obtain control if the victim does not have a support system to rely on. Be careful to notice if your teen starts to avoid friends or starts to become obsessed only with his/her partner.
3. Lack of interest or focus – If your son or daughter suddenly starts getting poor grades or loses interest in hobbies, this is another sign to show concern.
When approaching your child about a potential problem, it is important to avoid attacking his/her choice of partner. This will cause your child to shut you out and avoid getting help. Instead, try approaching your child by stating you have noticed some things you are concerned about and want to talk about. Make sure your child knows you are there to support him/her. Avoid coming off as trying to control the situation and who your child chooses to date.
Help your child find his/her inner strength to get out of potentially dangerous situations. Let your child know the lines of communication between him/her and you will always be open both now and in the future. It is important to address these issues now before they become a lifelong trend.
If you think that something is wrong with your child and/or the person he/she is dating… there probably is.