Ohio’s Top 5 Dumbest Criminals: A Week of Foiled Fumbles

In the past week, small towns across Ohio have seen their fair share of bizarre and foolish criminal activities. Here are the top five stories that made us scratch our heads in disbelief. Man Arrested for Stealing Police Car Lancaster, OH - During a traffic stop, Mark Thompson, 45, managed to steal the officer's patrol car while the officer was checking his license. Thompson didn't get far; he was found parked at a fast-food drive-thru, ordering a burger. He now faces multiple charges, including grand theft auto. Fake Cop Pulled Over Real Officer On May 21, 2024, Mark D. Harris, 35, impersonated a police officer in Marietta. He attempted to pull over a car for a "traffic violation," not realizing the driver was an off-duty police officer. The real officer quickly identified Harris as a fake and arrested him. Harris is charged with impersonating a police officer and false imprisonment. Disguised Thief Forgets to Disguise His Car Gallipolis police had an easy time catching Robert J. Hanson, 42 after he attempted to rob a convenience store in a clown mask but forgot to disguise his getaway car. Hanson drove his distinctively decorated vehicle to the crime scene, making it easy for witnesses to describe to the police. Officers quickly located Hanson at his home, where he was arrested and charged with armed robbery and evading arrest. Ravenna Man Attempts Robbery with Water Gun In Ravenna, 30-year-old Marcus Hale tried to rob a local convenience store using a brightly colored water gun. Hale entered the store and demanded cash, but the clerk quickly realized the weapon was a toy. Police arrived shortly after and arrested Hale without incident. He now faces charges of attempted robbery and is being held at the Portage County Jail. Bike Thief Caught by ‘Borrowing’ Police Bicycle 22-year-old Derek Smith was apprehended after stealing a bicycle from the Hillsboro Police Department's parking lot. Smith was seen riding the police bike through downtown Hillsboro, where officers quickly recognized their property. He was arrested and charged with theft and possession of stolen property. These stories remind us that sometimes, criminals aren’t as clever as they think. We’ll reconvene next week for more bizarre and amusing tales from Ohio’s crime scenes.

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