Ohio’s Top Five Dumbest Criminals: A Week of Foiled Fumbles

Ohio has seen its share of crime, but this week's stories highlight some of the most foolish criminal attempts. From hilarious mishaps to outright bizarre decisions, here are the top five stupid criminals in Ohio for this week. Burglar Takes Bathroom Break During Heist In Sandusky, a burglar's ill-timed bathroom break led to his capture on July 2, 2024. Charles M. Harris, 28, broke into a local convenience store after hours. Surveillance footage showed Harris pausing his burglary to use the store’s bathroom. The noise from the flushing alerted residents in the upstairs apartment, who called the police. Harris was caught still in the store, attempting to take snacks and beverages. According to police, Harris was charged with breaking and entering and petty theft. The police noted, “This is one of the more unusual arrests we’ve made." Drunk Driver Parks in Police Chief’s Spot On July 4, 2024, Jessica Miller, 35, was so intoxicated that she didn't realize she had parked her car in the Springfield police chief's designated spot at the local precinct. Officers found her passed out behind the wheel with the engine running and promptly took her into custody for DUI. "Drive-Thru Disaster" in Chillicothe On July 4, 2024, in Chillicothe, Thomas Bailey, 30, tried to use a stolen credit card at a fast-food drive-thru. The card was declined, and Bailey argued with the cashier, drawing attention. The police, who happened to be in the parking lot, intervened and discovered the card was stolen. Bailey was arrested on the spot for credit card fraud and disorderly conduct. Faked Injury for Insurance Payout Backfires On July 2, 2024, in Batavia, two friends, Tim Brown and Joe Simmons, hatched a plan to collect over $1 million in insurance from their employer. In a ploy to blame a faulty walk-in freezer, the duo hatched an insane plan. They started by freezing Brown's legs to the point of needing amputation. Their plan fell apart when the hospital staff grew suspicious and called the police. Both men now face charges of insurance fraud and conspiracy. Their desperate and painful scheme only brought them more trouble and legal consequences. Doctors were able to save a portion of one of Brown's legs. Man Tries to Rob Store with Banana Are you happy to see me, or is that a banana in your pocket? In perhaps the most ridiculous attempt of the week, David Harmon, 22, of Zanesville, tried to rob a convenience store using a banana as a gun. The incident occurred in the early morning of July 5th. The store clerk was unimpressed. He and another store employee quickly subdued Harmon until police arrived. These stories serve as a reminder that crime doesn’t pay, especially when combined with poor judgment and impulsive actions.

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