While many Portsmouth families were settling in for Christmas Eve traditions, police were dealing with a trio of calls that sounded more like outtakes from a holiday blooper reel than a typical night on patrol.
Here’s a roundup of some of the oddest incidents officers handled on December 24.
The Case of the Missing Heirloom Rock
Just after 2 p.m., officers were called to Alexandria House after a resident reported an unusual theft. Sometime overnight, someone took a painted heirloom rock from outside her apartment.
The woman suspected a neighbor she said struggles with mental health issues may have taken it. Officers attempted to locate the neighbor but were unsuccessful and ultimately took information for a report.
Machete and a WWE Belt Found in Greenlawn Cemetery
Later in the day, a woman walked into the police station with a discovery straight out of a strange Christmas story: a machete and a replica WWE championship belt found in Greenlawn Cemetery.
An officer inspected the machete and found no blood or signs it had been used in a crime. A records check turned up no reports of similar items being stolen. With no evidence of wrongdoing, the woman was advised and allowed to keep the items.
“Christmas Weed” Sparks Dispensary Meltdown
The evening took a turn around 9 p.m., when employees at a local dispensary reported a man in a white Cadillac who became furious after learning the store had closed 10 minutes before the posted closing time.
According to employees, the man left but later called and made disturbing comments, including claims he would ram his car into the building, wait for employees to leave, and make a crude threat involving $40—apparently over missing out on his Christmas Eve marijuana purchase.
Officers determined the statements did not rise to the level of direct threats. Employees were advised to call police if the man returned and to request that he be barred from the property.
Holiday Chaos, Portsmouth-Style
From stolen sentimental rocks to cemetery weapons and a man who really, really wanted his Christmas weed, Portsmouth police saw firsthand that even on Christmas Eve, the calls don’t stop—and neither does the weird.