ZAPPED AND NABBED!

SOUTH POINT, OH — A wanted man in a red shirt learned the hard way that running from the law isn’t just a bad idea—it’s electrifying. Joseph Green, who had an active warrant out for his arrest, bolted from a South Point residence when cops rolled up. But his brief sprint for freedom came to a screeching halt in the drive-thru at Leo’s Carryout after a wild taser takedown that didn’t quite go to plan. According to police, Green stumbled into the drive-thru like a deer caught in headlights, ignoring officers’ commands to stop. That’s when the deputy pulled out the big guns—or in this case, the stun gun. The first taser shot connected, with both electrified barbs hitting their mark. But instead of dropping like a sack of potatoes, Green powered through it like he was in a low-budget action movie, continuing to run across County Road 1. When he finally decided to “give up” on County Road 450, things got tense again. Green allegedly became verbally aggressive and said he planned to resist. So officers offered him a not-so-gentle reminder: a drive-stun zap to the body. That’s a direct contact taser blast—and this time, it worked like a charm. What Happens When You Get Tased? It might look funny in the movies, but getting tased is no joke. Here’s what people experience when hit with a taser: Muscle contractions so strong that they can drop a full-grown adult instantly. Intense pain at the contact points, often described as being stabbed with lightning. Burn marks or welts where the barbs attach. Temporary confusion, disorientation, and, sometimes, involuntary urination (yikes). Drive-stuns (when the taser is pressed directly to the body) hurt just as much but don’t incapacitate—more of a pain compliance tool. In Green’s case, the probes were photographed at the jail before removal and logged into evidence. He was then escorted—calmer now—to the Lawrence County Jail. Oh, and in a weird twist? A woman showed up asking for her 8-year-old’s phone, which Green had apparently been carrying. She declined to press charges and walked away like this was just another Tuesday. Bottom Line Tasers aren’t toys—and neither is running from the law. Whether it’s a spark in your step or a jolt in your back, cooperation tends to be the less painful route.

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