Are Americans The Funniest People On Earth?

For a few minutes, forget about politics, crime, and civil unrest. Suspend the comparisons of militaries, stock markets, and social differences.

Instead, let’s get down to the great equalizer among people: Humor. Who are the funniest people in the world? We have spent hours studying jokes that are popular around the globe. After blurry-eyed evaluations, here are some jokes from around the world. Are Americans the funniest people on Earth? You’ll have to be the judge. Here we go.

Italy

1. A very, very fat man is sitting in a hotel restaurant. The waiter approaches him:
   – Was breakfast to your liking?
   – Very good, perhaps a little too abundant; I struggled to eat everything.
   – Sir, it was a buffet breakfast.
2. On Mars maybe there is water, but there is no Wi-Fi, therefore there are no conditions for life.
3. Why did the blonde put a watch on a broken arm?- Because she heard that time heals all wounds.
4. In an argument, the wife says to her husband:
   – It would have been better if I married the devil than you.
   – You couldn’t! Marriage between relatives is not allowed.

France

1. My 7-year-old nephew proudly showed me the “phone” he had just made from a string and two tin cans. I pulled out my iPhone and said, “That’s good, but …Look what kids your age are doing in China! “
2. Why is my math book sad? Answer: Because it has problems
3. A guy goes into a bar, walking on his hands. The surprised waiter asks him the reason, and the guy replies:
   – It’s because my wife told me to never set foot in a bar.
4. When you take a long time to complete a task, you are slow. When your boss takes a long time, he’s meticulous.
5. If you’re not feeling well … let someone else feel you!

Germany

1. A man reads a magazine and says to his wife: “You honey, it says here that women speak almost twice as much as men in one year”. Says the woman: “Well, that’s because we always have to tell you everything twice.”
2. At the doctor: Did you take my advice and sleep with the window open?
   -Yes, I have.
   -Well, has the cough gone?
   -The only thing that has disappeared is my laptop and my smartphone.
3. A man ambushes a bus carrying Japanese tourists. The police received over 3,200 photos of the robber.
4. I threw away a boomerang years ago. Now, I live in constant fear.
5. Ms. Schmidt, are you satisfied with your new hearing aid? Oh yes, I’ve had to change my will twice already.

Russia

1. The better I get to know my neighbors, the higher I want the fence
2. It’s amazing how quiet a three-year-old can be when he is passionately drawing on the living room wall
3. A person will grow their entire life. First up, then out.
4. My body advises me to switch to a healthy lifestyle. But I’m not dumb enough to take advice from an alcoholic.
5. – Doctor, help me. My son is delusional – he thinks he is a dog.
   – Well, well, how long ago did it start with him?
   – When he was still a puppy.

Iceland

1. Do you realize that your dog bit me? -My dog? That’s weird. He’s allergic to pigs.
2. It was so cold, I saw a lawyer with his hands in his own pockets !!
3. Sigga comes home after the first day at school and her mom asks ” how did you do in school today?”
   Sigga answers: ” Clearly not good enough, They want me to show up again tomorrow.”
4. Doctor, doctor! I think I’m blind! – Yes, I think so too, this is the Post Office!
5. Why do you drive so horribly slow?- I would rather be late in this life than show up too early in the other life.

India

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1. Lawyer: How did your husband die?
   Woman: By eating poison.
   Lawyer: Then how come there are bruises on his body?
   Woman: Refusing to eat.
2. The doctor put a thermometer in the woman’s mouth and asked to keep her mouth closed for some time…
   Seeing the wife kept silent, the husband asked: Doctor, how much does this magical thing cost?
3. Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use a honeycomb.
4. What do you call Samsung’s security team? The Guardians of the Galaxy!

USA

1. Have you heard about the new restaurant called ‘Karma?’ There’s no menu—you get what you deserve.
2. I buy all my guns from a guy called T-Rex. He’s a small arms dealer.
3. Communist jokes aren’t funny unless everyone gets them.
4. I can tell when people are being judgmental just by looking at them.
5. Two WiFi engineers got married. The reception was fantastic.

Ok, now you be the judge. This assignment had me all over the world, trying to master Google Translate. I have no choice, at this point, to add my own into the mix. I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off!

So, Are Americans The Funniest People On Earth?