“They Won’t Tell Me Anything”: Why Shelters Often Stay Silent—Even When Police Show Up 

Two recent calls involving missing persons and local shelters have left families frustrated and confused, asking the same question: Why won’t these places give out information—even to police? 

The answer lies in a complicated mix of privacy laws, safety policies, and liability fears that often leave shelters saying nothing at all.  

Call One: Homeless Shelter Won’t Confirm Anything 

In the first case, a woman called 911 complaining about a homeless shelter on 8th Street, saying staff refused to give her information about someone she was trying to locate. 

She later met with officers from the Portsmouth Police Department and formally filed a missing person report. 

An officer then went to the shelter to follow up—but according to the police report, shelter employees refused to cooperate with the investigation. Staff cited what officers described as a misunderstanding or over-application of HIPAA, and declined to provide any information.  

Call Two: Domestic Violence Shelter Gives a Limited Answer 

In a separate incident, officers were called to a domestic violence shelter after a family reported they had received information that a missing woman might be staying there. 

The family said the shelter told them it would only release information to a police officer in person. 

When an officer arrived, shelter staff stated they did not have any residents who had been reported missing. That information was relayed back to the family—but no further details were provided.  

So Why the Silence? 

Shelters aren’t trying to be difficult—but they are extremely cautious, sometimes to the point of appearing uncooperative. 

Here’s why: 

🔐 Privacy Laws (HIPAA & Beyond) 

🛑 Safety First Policies 

Especially at domestic violence shelters, revealing whether someone is present can: 

As a result, many shelters have strict rules: 

⚖️Why Police Sometimes Hit a Wall 

Even officers may only get yes-or-no answers, and sometimes not even that, unless: 

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Without those conditions, shelters often default to “we can’t say anything”—even when families are desperate for answers.  

The Frustrating Reality 

For families, it feels cold and obstructive.
For shelters, it feels like the only way to keep people safe. 

Both recent cases show the same tension: 

If you’re trying to locate someone who may be at a shelter: 

The silence isn’t personal—but it can be heartbreaking. 

And until laws and policies better balance privacy with compassion, this frustrating gap is likely to remain—leaving families waiting, officers stuck, and shelters saying as little as possible. 

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