For a few minutes, forget about politics, crime, and civil unrest. Suspend the comparisons of militaries, stock markets, and social differences.
Instead, let’s get down to the great equalizer among people: Humor. Who are the funniest people in the world? We have spent hours studying jokes that are popular around the globe. After blurry-eyed evaluations, here are some jokes from around the world. Are Americans the funniest people on Earth? You’ll have to be the judge. Here we go.
Page 1 of 7
Italy
- A very, very fat man is sitting in a hotel restaurant. The waiter approaches him:
– Was breakfast to your liking?
– Very good, perhaps a little too abundant; I struggled to eat everything.
– Sir, it was a buffet breakfast. - On Mars maybe there is water, but there is no Wi-Fi, therefore there are no conditions for life.
- Why did the blonde put a watch on a broken arm?- Because she heard that time heals all wounds.
- In an argument, the wife says to her husband:
– It would have been better if I married the devil than you.
– You couldn’t! Marriage between relatives is not allowed.
Page 2 of 7
France
- My 7-year-old nephew proudly showed me the “phone” he had just made from a string and two tin cans. I pulled out my iPhone and said, “That’s good, but …Look what kids your age are doing in China! “
- Why is my math book sad? Answer: Because it has problems
- A guy goes into a bar, walking on his hands. The surprised waiter asks him the reason, and the guy replies:
– It’s because my wife told me to never set foot in a bar. - When you take a long time to complete a task, you are slow. When your boss takes a long time, he’s meticulous.
- If you’re not feeling well … let someone else feel you!
Page 3 of 7
Germany
- A man reads a magazine and says to his wife: “You honey, it says here that women speak almost twice as much as men in one year”. Says the woman: “Well, that’s because we always have to tell you everything twice.”
- At the doctor: Did you take my advice and sleep with the window open?
-Yes, I have.
-Well, has the cough gone?
-The only thing that has disappeared is my laptop and my smartphone. - A man ambushes a bus carrying Japanese tourists. The police received over 3,200 photos of the robber.
- I threw away a boomerang years ago. Now, I live in constant fear.
- Ms. Schmidt, are you satisfied with your new hearing aid? Oh yes, I’ve had to change my will twice already.
Page 4 of 7
Russia
- The better I get to know my neighbors, the higher I want the fence
- It’s amazing how quiet a three-year-old can be when he is passionately drawing on the living room wall
- A person will grow their entire life. First up, then out.
- My body advises me to switch to a healthy lifestyle. But I’m not dumb enough to take advice from an alcoholic.
- – Doctor, help me. My son is delusional – he thinks he is a dog.
– Well, well, how long ago did it start with him?
– When he was still a puppy.
Page 5 of 7
Iceland
- Do you realize that your dog bit me? -My dog? That’s weird. He’s allergic to pigs.
- It was so cold, I saw a lawyer with his hands in his own pockets !!
- Sigga comes home after the first day at school and her mom asks ” how did you do in school today?”
Sigga answers: ” Clearly not good enough, They want me to show up again tomorrow.” - Doctor, doctor! I think I’m blind! – Yes, I think so too, this is the Post Office!
- Why do you drive so horribly slow?- I would rather be late in this life than show up too early in the other life.
Page 6 of 7
India
- Lawyer: How did your husband die?
Woman: By eating poison.
Lawyer: Then how come there are bruises on his body?
Woman: Refusing to eat. - The doctor put a thermometer in the woman’s mouth and asked to keep her mouth closed for some time…
Seeing the wife kept silent, the husband asked: Doctor, how much does this magical thing cost? - Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use a honeycomb.
- What do you call Samsung’s security team? The Guardians of the Galaxy!
Page 7 of 7
USA
- Have you heard about the new restaurant called ‘Karma?’ There’s no menu—you get what you deserve.
- I buy all my guns from a guy called T-Rex. He’s a small arms dealer.
- Communist jokes aren’t funny unless everyone gets them.
- I can tell when people are being judgmental just by looking at them.
- Two WiFi engineers got married. The reception was fantastic.
Ok, now you be the judge. This assignment had me all over the world, trying to master Google Translate. I have no choice, at this point, to add my own into the mix. I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off!
So, Are Americans The Funniest People On Earth?
